OUT AND ABOUT

                                 story by Patrick Breheny                  

     Joe Mauk was a regular guy who finished high school and passed the exam for Out and About Inspector. It wasn’t in his nature to get over on people, but he had a quota of citations to fill if he wanted to keep his job. He was authorized to stop anybody walking and demand to see their permit.

      It was during the rainy season in Los Angeles, a November day in a city where people drove, so few were walking. Yet the sergeant this very morning warned Joe to write more citations. That meant catching people as they left vehicles.

     There was a taxi that stopped by the entrance to an office building, and a man in a trench coat over a suit, with a briefcase and umbrella, jumped out.

      Joe pounced   “Show me your Out and About.”

     The man smiled a Be Reasonable and said “It’s raining.”

     Joe said “Offenders take advantage of the weather.”

     “Could we step into the lobby?”

      Joe was getting wet too, but he didn’t want the lobby or any witnesses.

     “Show me now.”

     The man fumbled inside his suit jacket, then presented the document.

     It was valid and current, but Joe said, “This is expired. I’m confiscating it and writing you up.”

     Which he began to do.

     “You’re mistaken. May I show you?”

     “I said it’s expired.”

     The man said, “I’ll pay you to give it back.”

    Joe had never heard of that before. Well, he was new. He could take the bribe, but then he wouldn’t be making his quota. And besides, once he started writing a ticket, it had to be completed.

      “How much do you want officer?”

      He didn’t know. “Up to you.”

      The man gave him a hundred dollar bill The agreement seemed to be that he’d get his permit back. Well, Joe hadn’t yet written he was confiscating. He wrote that the man didn’t have a permit, then gave him both the ticket and the permit.

       In fairer times the citizen could go into court and show his permit was current. But municipalities needed money. It only mattered that you’d been cited and paid the fine. Any soft headed judge with touchy feely inclinations had administrators above him.

      Joe figured if the guy had a suit and a briefcase he could afford it. And of those who didn’t have the money, walking was like gambling. You had no business doing it if you were going to cry when you lost.